Spotting a Backstabber: 17 Signs You Shouldn’t Trust Someone (Even If They Are Your Friend)

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Navigating relationships, whether personal or professional, can sometimes be tricky. While most people are trustworthy, some may not have your best interests at heart. Backstabbers are those who pretend to be friendly but undermine you when you’re not around. Identifying these individuals early on can save you a lot of emotional and professional trouble. Here are 20 signs that someone might be a backstabber and how you can protect yourself from their deceitful behavior.

1. They Gossip Constantly

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A person who loves to gossip about others is likely to gossip about you too. If someone frequently shares private or negative information about others, it’s a red flag that they could do the same behind your back.

2. They Pretend to Be Your Friend

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Backstabbers often pretend to be close friends while secretly undermining you. They may be overly friendly and attentive when you're together but speak ill of you when you're not around.

3. They Act Overly Supportive

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Backstabbers often overcompensate with excessive praise or compliments. This overly supportive behavior can be a tactic to mask their true intentions and lower your guard.

4. They Disappear When You Need Them

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A true friend is there for you in times of need. If someone consistently vanishes or offers excuses when you need support, it could be a sign that they aren’t as loyal as they seem.

5. They Take Credit for Your Work

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One of the hallmark signs of a backstabber, especially in professional settings, is someone who takes credit for your work or ideas. They may present themselves as collaborative but subtly undermine you to gain recognition.

6. They Belittle You in Public

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Backstabbers often make subtle or overt comments that belittle you in front of others. This tactic is used to elevate themselves while making you look less competent or worthy.

7. They Always Know Others’ Secrets

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Backstabbers tend to know everyone’s secrets, often because they actively seek out this information to use it to their advantage. Be wary of someone who is always “in the know” about others’ private matters.

8. They Love Stirring Up Drama

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Backstabbers thrive on chaos and often instigate conflicts or create drama among friends or coworkers. If someone is always at the center of conflict, they might be manipulating the situation for their own benefit.

9. They Spread False Information

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Spreading rumors or false information is a common tactic used by backstabbers to discredit or harm you. If you notice untrue stories circulating about you, it could be the work of someone trying to undermine your reputation.

10. They Are Nice to Your Face but Criticize You Behind Your Back

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If someone is pleasant and supportive when you’re around but criticizes or talks negatively about you when you’re not, it’s a clear sign of backstabbing behavior.

11. They Undermine You Subtly

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Backstabbers often use subtle tactics, like giving backhanded compliments or questioning your abilities, to undermine you without being overt. Pay attention to these small digs and trust your intuition.

12. They’re Two-Faced

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If someone acts friendly toward you but is cold or dismissive when you're not around, they might be a backstabber. Being two-faced is a classic sign of someone who is not trustworthy.

13. They Overreact to Small Issues

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People who are overly dramatic about minor disagreements or mistakes may be using these moments to create tension or gain sympathy from others against you.

14. They Play the Victim

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Backstabbers often position themselves as victims to gain sympathy and manipulate others. If someone frequently claims to be mistreated or misunderstood, they could be using this tactic to gain leverage.

15. They Are Overly Competitive

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In a competitive environment, some people will do anything to get ahead, including backstabbing. If someone is overly competitive and seems to enjoy others’ failures, be cautious.

16. They Leak Confidential Information

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Sharing confidential information or private conversations is a sign that someone cannot be trusted. If they do it to others, they will likely do it to you.

17. They Sabotage Opportunities

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Backstabbers often create situations that can sabotage your success. They might “forget” to share important information, mislead you about deadlines, or give poor advice to set you up for failure.

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