Here Are 15 Dark Psychology Tricks Common in Dating—And How to Avoid Falling for Them
Dating can be tricky terrain, and while most people are sincere in their intentions, there are others who use manipulative and dark psychology tricks to get what they want. These tactics are often subtle, making them difficult to detect at first, but a therapist has identified some common dark psychology tricks that are frequently used in dating.
It’s crucial to be aware of these behaviors early on to protect yourself from emotional manipulation. Here are 15 dark psychology tricks used a lot in dating and how to spot them before it’s too late.
1. Love Bombing
Love bombing involves overwhelming someone with excessive affection and attention early in a relationship. This tactic is used to create a sense of dependency and attachment before pulling away to manipulate emotions.
2. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where someone makes you question your own reality or sanity. They twist facts, deny events, or shift blame, leaving you feeling confused and doubting yourself.
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3. Negging
Negging is the practice of giving backhanded compliments or subtly insulting someone to lower their confidence. The goal is to make the person seek validation from the manipulator, making them easier to control.
4. Mirroring
Mirroring involves mimicking your behaviors, interests, or emotions to create a false sense of compatibility. While it can feel like you’ve found your “soulmate,” it’s often a calculated tactic to make you let your guard down.
5. Future Faking
Future faking is when someone makes grand promises about the future to keep you emotionally invested. They’ll talk about marriage, vacations, or long-term plans, but these promises rarely materialize.
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6. Triangulation
Triangulation is when someone brings a third person into the relationship to create jealousy or competition. They may mention an ex or flirt with others to make you feel insecure, prompting you to fight for their attention.
7. Silent Treatment
The silent treatment is a form of emotional manipulation where someone withholds communication to punish or control you. It’s designed to make you feel anxious and desperate to regain their favor, often causing you to compromise your boundaries.
8. Pity Play
A pity play involves making themselves out to be the victim in order to elicit sympathy and manipulate your emotions. They use guilt to get you to do what they want, making you feel responsible for their well-being.
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9. Intermittent Reinforcement
This tactic involves giving affection or attention inconsistently to keep you on edge and craving more. The unpredictability creates a psychological addiction, making you work harder for their approval.
10. Emotional Blackmail
Emotional blackmail involves using threats or guilt to control your actions or decisions. They may threaten to leave or use your vulnerabilities against you to get what they want.
11. Idealization-Devaluation-Discard Cycle
This cycle starts with idealization, where they put you on a pedestal, followed by devaluation, where they criticize or belittle you. Finally, they discard you once they’ve gotten what they wanted, leaving you feeling used and discarded.
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12. Guilt Tripping
Guilt tripping involves making you feel bad for setting boundaries or not doing what they want. They use your sense of empathy against you, framing you as the “bad guy” for prioritizing your needs.
13. Playing the Martyr
This tactic involves portraying themselves as the long-suffering partner who sacrifices everything for you. They do this to make you feel indebted and manipulate you into feeling guilty for asking for more in the relationship.
14. Boundary Testing
Boundary testing is when they push your limits to see how much they can get away with. If you allow them to cross small boundaries, they’ll continue pushing until you’re fully under their control.
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15. Disguised Criticism
Disguised criticism often comes in the form of “helpful advice” or “joking” comments that are actually meant to undermine your confidence. Over time, these subtle criticisms can erode your self-esteem, making you more reliant on their approval.
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